Wednesday, May 26, 2010

For All the Men

Recently I read on Kristin's blog ( about her little son giving her a wheelbarrow for Mother's Day. This did not shock me, he's a farm boy, and I have similar experiences with these types in my life. Lucky thing is, he's still a little boy and there is room for growth in his precious little life.

The first Christmas my husband and I spent together I unwrapped a gift to find a Mark's Work Warehouse box and laughed and said, 'Oh, good idea to put something in a box like this to trick me...' Nope, the gift was from Mark's Work Warehouse.

Today I called up a good friend of mine who lives on a ranch two hours east of us. I started off the phone conversation with something like this, 'Uh hey, G, would it be okay if I tossed Bud under the bus on my blog?' Her prompt reply, 'Oh yeah, go for it!' Okay, it wasn't exactly like that, but she did phone Bud and ask him if it was okay, and I asked her if Bud knew what a blog was...

Anyway, last year when my dear friend was pregnant with their second baby (a time our husbands come with us to a few doctor's appointments and talk with the doctors like this is no big deal because they have calved out a lot of cows) her husband showed up with a birthday gift for her. Bud bought her a PITCHFFORK and FENCING PLIERS. This was not a joke. I kept laughing because it was so outrageous...but Bud really thought it was nice, and thought she really would want her own pitchfork. REALLY?! I told her Bud was crazy-REALLY.

I promptly wrote up a little sheet for Bud to post on the fridge...a sort of guidelines if you will. I thought I would share it on here because after reading Kristen's post, I think this may be something many wives/mom's should print off and give to their husbands. Good luck to you all!

-always consult guide before buying a gift
-NEVER disregard ANY rules in guide
-post somewhere you will never lose or forget about it

A)If you can write it off-do not even consider this an option.
B)DO NOT look in stores like Canadian Tire, Princess Auto, UFA, Peavy Mart, or Mark's Work Warehouse. If a store sells similar stuff as the above listed stores walk, no RUN away!
C)Consult with your mom or sisters until you have the hang of gift giving-if they say it's terrible-IT'S TERRIBLE-don't go ahead with the plan!
D)Listen for hints...some hints might not be intentional and they may not be direct at all. Listen for phrases like "Maybe I'll wait for January sales to buy that rusty star!" Take heed!
E)Wrap with care (or get your sister to.) Putting time and care into wrapping, and a card makes it more personal. It makes it look like more thought was placed into it, rather than just picking something up at Cactus Corner while you fueled up.
F)If it cleans up the yard, house, vehicle...helps a person laundry, etc, this is a STUPID idea. No matter what, a gift should not involve ANY work or be any kind of household appliance. Gifts should be some kind joy and luxury...not work. This is a KEY rule-tears or anger may result if ignored.
G)Gifts should be bought at girly shops that make you uncomfortable and makes you keep your hands to yourself, so you don't break anything!

Good luck Bud & G.....

Bud, be careful, or G might use the pitchfork on you!


Kristin said...

seriously just snorted my pop up my nose...dyeing laughing right now!! your poor friend...bad enough just your everyday gift but when she was pregnant?!?! :0) hilarious!!really the guidelines are simple...why oh why do our cowboys make them so difficult...they look at you like you are speaking pig latin when you suggest anything luxurious heaven forbid if it isn't practical!
do you mind if i share this with the other prairie girls?? would *love* for them to read this and link up to your blog...let me know...hope things are well

pitch fork rearing sister...

G said...

Hey Everyone and my dear friend Cheyenne,

First and foremost I just adore what you have going on hear and am so excited for what lies ahead!! Yay for you!!

Cheyenne was quite nice in posting her blog, and considering my husbands feelings and reputation (which was ruined by himself). Yes it was my husband who gave the dreaded gift.

I do have to add that there were a few more items to add to the birthday list, a nice shiny aluminum shovel for the barn and a pair of riding gloves (which I was really wanting actually). So the fencing pliers for a hard days work, and gloves to keep my hands nice while working, the pitchfork to feed my horse after the hard days ride of checking fence, and the shovel to clean up all the feed excreted from my hard working friend. For this I love my husband, even though I did cry at the time. Now I cry tears of laughter not anger.

I'll let Cheyenne tell you all about the following anniversary gift. Who knows what this years birthday gift will be? I know my mother-in-law received booster cables one year.

-So hears to hoping for no booster cables!


Jennifer said...

Oh my goodness.....this was great!

Joey said...

Great advice, Cheyenne! Should be required reading for every new groom.

A pitchfork? Booster cables? My MIL got a grain bin for her birthday one year!

Anonymous said...

Ha! I got a gun for mother's day! :)

crystal.cattle said...

I think this needs to be made into some sort of official list. My dad could have used one of these. Luckily, as us girls got older we intervened.

NaomiG said...

Thanks so much for your fun comment on my blog this morning--that was a great comment to wake up to!! :-)

This post is so awesome. I got a handgun for mother's day, but that's about as weird as my husband has gotten, and I was pretty excited about that gift. However, the story has been repeated through our family how one time my granddad wanted a chainsaw, so he bought it for gramma as a birthday gift... HA! It came full circle tho when my brother married a chainsaw artist who would actually be THRILLED with a chainsaw as a gift. :-) Go figure.

Grace @ Sense and Simplicity said...

That is too funny - a pitchfork! Ha, now I've heard everything. I have to say my husband does really well in the gift department, but I know someone who's husband gave her a toilet seat. Yep, one of those soft, cushie ones. So she made him buy her a leather coat the next year to make up for it.

LadySmith@CashmereandCarrotSticks said...

I love this. Would you mind me linking to it through my site? I think all ladies would enjoy this :) how is the temp there? we are very cold right now, but I won't complain as I know you've had it earlier and longer than us and will continue to. :) stay warm.

Elizabeth (blue clear sky) said...

She was pregnant and he armed her with a pitchfork?!! I'm wondering if she used it...on him ;) Too funny.

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