Minus One Million

This is for you, Baerg girls!

Folks, I know I just wrote a post about the delights of this Jack Frost time of year and law, I do enjoy the warmth of the inside of my house. Alas, girls, today it is so cold that when you walk outside goobers in your nose start to freeze your nostrils together. For you all who are telling me of living in states where it's in the 70'S! right now, I'd like to invite you up to the great white north. You'll enjoy your stay in a bleached land where we will submit you to a short lesson on surviving the cold and then we'll send you out to start our vehicle. Your lungs will smart as you walk, when you come in your legs will itch from the cold, and getting ready to go outside will be a 15 minute effort.

I heard a report today that Calgary (just over 60 miles away) registered as the coldest place on Earth, except for a lovely resort place in the Antarctic. Our thermometer was reading colder than Calgary! What?! It was -36 degrees Celsius, or for you cats south of the border that is -32.8 degrees Fahrenheit.  Throw in some icy wind and you have a recipe for a hibernating momma.

I guess we're lucky here in Alberta, what is the need for Botox and all those other ways to look younger? Our faces simply freeze in place and our cheeks are nice and rosy preventing any need for blusher. Be wary not to make any rude faces or have a look of shock on that mug when you walk outside-that is what might be preserved forevah (or at least until Summer!)

I lumbered out the back door to snap a photo with my husband's boots on and realized the drifts were higher than the boots, which were up to my knees. I snapped the photo and wanted to wrap myself in a full body hot water bottle. I was envious of my daughter's fleece pajamas with the feet included and thought about looking for a pattern for myself.

It is no joke that we live somewhere where there have been students who have come to school on snowmobiles to take their diploma exams. They are infamous and dedicated students, it's too bad they failed, but we knew they couldn't see out of their balaclavas.

It's also a semi dangerous time of year, not for the frost bite or the bad roads, but for our marriages. Running to the back door to greet your husband with a kiss can be a hazardous task. Who can tell any of these rural Alberta men apart, they are bundled up so much? So, before you plant a wet one on the man who appears at the door, make sure it's not a neighbour who has had a break down.

Tonight, with the stove a blazing, I'm painting signs for the Little Prairie Baby shop, be warned though folks, I am not too sure how the outcome will be. Holding a paintbrush with your mittens on is proven difficult.